In this week’s spotlight I would like to focus some on communication. The art of communication is more than just listening and then offering either a rebuttal or agreement. It certainly is much more than refusing to even entertain an idea that is contrary to your own and that is exactly what Ravinder found on her Facebook wall this week. Here is what the post basically said, “If you are a Trump supporter, please un-friend me now.”
Refusal and Positioning
We were at lunch with our son when Ravinder informed us of this post, and since we both try to remain open minded and publicly apolitical, our discussion became more one of how people fail to communicate, rather than one of the right or wrong behind this sort of attitude. And that was going just fine until our 17 year-old son spoke up with his observation, “That’s crazy! I’d un-friend immediately just because she is so narrow minded!”
He then proceeded to open his smart phone and share something Jeff Foxworthy said, and I quote:
If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A Democrat demands that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
And on and on.
Turning the Tables
Now I’m no Jeff Foxworthy, but this form of argument could as well be made in the opposite direction. One might say it this way:
If a Republican doesn’t believe in abortion, he wants to make it illegal!
If a Republican is heterosexual he wants everyone to be heterosexual.
If a Republican is Christian, he wants God involved in everything.
Okay, the problem with the Foxworthy style is it positions for an argument and the problem with the proposition of ‘just un-friend me’ is that it positions away from any discussion. So what happened to the notion behind the idea of our protected freedom of assembly? Are we all to just take up some hard line and refuse to hear another out, or in the alternative, are we to so position the argument as to demean the opposition in our positioning?
Obviously the answer is neither! Now clearly, at least according to Webster, there has been communication in both of these examples for Webster defines communication this way, “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.” But is this the kind of communication we desire?
Importance of Empathy
Studies have repeatedly shown that real communication occurs when the parties involved hear each other out, listen intently, walk in the other person’s shoes for a moment, as the trite but true metaphor goes, find empathy and then exchange their own ideas with the acquired patience that comes from really understanding each other.
For what it’s worth, as this political season heats up, passions will run high. This is not an ordinary election cycle! Young people are more involved than I have ever witnessed. So remember, when we are aroused, passionate, we can easily find those strong emotions morphing into anger, impatience, and so forth, and the next thing you know—well you might just be snapping at everyone! My advice, don’t get drawn in. Take a deep breath, and let water seek it’s own level!
As always, thanks for the read and I appreciate your feedback.
Eldon Taylor
Provocative Enlightenment
NY Time Bestselling Author of Choices and Illusions
www.eldontaylor.com