March 31, 2016

Civility


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In this week’s spotlight I wish to discuss the nature of civility. This election cycle has led to some truly unfortunate exchanges between candidates and I believe this can generally debase our society. If politicians can stoop to personal attacks that are vulgar and otherwise beneath the dignity of civil discourse, it’s likely that others will follow suit. This is exactly the sort of leadership that erodes our ability to communicate with one another.

Real Communication

Real communication is not about how loudly we can speak or how many ad hominem attacks we can mount. Sometimes it’s incumbent upon each of us to remember the importance of civility in all of our dealings with others including those with whom we disagree.

It seems very easy at times to find our selves caught up in our differences and allow our lower emotions to take control of our minds. I know first hand just how tempting it can be to paint with a broad brush and begin categorizing people and affairs in negative compartments, but this only leads us further away from the sort of goals we all ultimately seek.

Approval

Humans are inherently herd animals. As such, we all seek acceptance and love. Further, it is my belief that we all desire a world of peace, balance and harmony. Unfortunately, some insist on their own interpretation of what it will take for our world to fulfill their private desires, and out of this interpretation arises cruelty, criminality and war.

Passions can run high and amuck when we forget civility. I am absolutely convinced that within every human being there rests a vast untapped potential for good, and I wish to encourage each and every one of you to focus on exactly that. I know this can be tough, especially when things seem difficult everywhere you look. I certainly know that I have not always lived up to my highest, but I intend to continue to do my best everyday, and I guess that’s all any of us can do.

Mindfulness

I therefore urge everyone to take a moment each day to gather your thoughts and become mindful. Mindfulness has been repeatedly demonstrated in various scientific studies to improve everything from our mood states to health and general sense of wellbeing. So quiet your mind for just a few minutes every day and reflect on the meaning of life. Close your eyes and listen to your inner chatter in a non-judgmental way, and allow yourself a moment of peace. Research has shown that a simple 12-minute meditation will not only provide this sense of wellbeing but also increase your cognitive abilities. Indeed, if you would like the exact mediation used in the research that demonstrated this finding, drop me a note at eldon@eldontaylor.com. Please put 12-minute meditation in the subject line so your email doesn’t disappear into my email client’s trash.

Whatever method you choose to use, please remember that a civil society is built upon civility for all. So let me leave you with these words from my book, “Choices and Illusions.

True Self-Esteem

“In short, we build esteem by adding, not by subtracting, and we add most when we add from unconditional love. When we go to the aid of another, and do so without an eye to what we might get out of it, we add both to our worth and to the worth of mankind in general. When we give love without condition—no string attached, so to speak—we add again both to our worth and to that of another. True self-esteem comes from what we give, not from what we take. It comes from the walk we walk, not from the things we say. True self-esteem builds character, not ego. It is, after all, the act of being who we really have been created to be. Further, our intention to give unconditionally creates a field that generates opportunities beyond the scope of selfish intentions.”

As always, thanks for the read and I appreciate your feedback.

Eldon Taylor

Eldon Taylor

Eldon Taylor
Provocative Enlightenment
NY Time Bestselling Author of Choices and Illusions
www.eldontaylor.com